Short note

I used to think that being unloved by the one you love most was the worst feeling. Now I realize it is knowing that you hurt the one you love and what’s done is done and you can’t do anything about it.

A long update

WEll it has been a while. I must admit I have been extremely low and had no motivation to continue this. But it is best for me (and hopefully others) to keep this blog thing going. Now where to start lol. I am currently on my way to South Africa to volunteer at the CangoContinue reading “A long update”

Yes, another update

Hey yalls! So I once again found myself in the hospital. I was having horrible realization moments and got so overwhelmed. My self loathing increased. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I got tired of trying. I was done with life and everything. I was so alone. I never before just had so much intentContinue reading “Yes, another update”

BPD and self loathing

SO its been a while since I have written! I’ve written many a blog post in my head, where I seem to be lost most of the time. I just simply not had the energy to write it down. But here we are, I am writing again! I am afraid this one does not endContinue reading “BPD and self loathing”

Life Update

Hi yalls! Sorry I haven’t been active at all! I have received my diagnosis of bipolar in addition to all the rest of my baggage. I got taken off on of my medications, Lamotrigine. It caused agitation and aggression as well as many severe physical side effects (none of the red flag lethal ones thoughContinue reading “Life Update”

More fun brain stuff!

SO recently I have kind of been on a visit and get all the medical help I should have gotten earlier kick. Today I went to the neurologist, which is loooooong overdue. He said I have PCS (Post concussion syndrome) and that I need to get an EEG, sleep study, and brain MRI. Having leftoverContinue reading “More fun brain stuff!”

Finding Help

Finding help is the hardest and most difficult step for anything. Admitting that you need assistance and that you need help controlling your life. It makes you feel weak, vulnerable and less of a human. Whether it is sports, school, and yes mental health. I was one of these people who knew they had depressionContinue reading “Finding Help”

Why I HATE BPD also more news :)

I hate BPD because it is NOT an illness, like depression or anxiety. It’s a personality disorder. It is who I am. It isn’t just my brain, it’s my whole body, my personality. I can not change it. I can only manage it. (not undermining anxiety or depression, they are horrible too and my heartContinue reading “Why I HATE BPD also more news :)”

Sooooo… the last two weeks

TW: suicidal, abandonment Ok so I started this blog because the past two weeks have be HELL. I turned myself into the hospital because I was about to kill myself. I was put into an outpatient program and got connected with a psychiatrist. I was diagnosed with BPD and possibly Bipolar (we ran out ofContinue reading “Sooooo… the last two weeks”

Hi Yalls! and welcome :)

Hey you guys! I started this blog as an outlet, as I do not have friends to rant to and I spammed people to much on Instagram stories. SOOOO I started this blog! this is mainly going to be me talking about my journey through BPD and life. There isnt much good and healthy contentContinue reading “Hi Yalls! and welcome :)”