I should just put this on the resources page, but it was much to relatable to not share. It is written much better than anything I can write.
While obviously everyone has their own different situations, this one has been the one that hit me where it hurts. This is almost exactly how everything went down with a certain person I lost. I beat myself up everyday for not having enough self control and sense. It was like I was blind to what I was doing. I never meant to cross boundaries and I certainly never meant to hurt them. It is sad but if I were to see them today or by some miracle theyd want to make up, I would be paralyzed (and probably run away) by guilt and fear. I still care deeply for them, which just makes it all so complicated and painful.
They had every right of course to leave. I only made their own mental health worse. I hurt them. This is how it went down with my ex. Oh how I do care for her still so very much. I still love her dearly as I have for years and years, and hope that she is ok. Maybe one day we can meet again, as friends, as partners. But if I must love from afar I will gladly accept, for it is what is best for her. Best for her health. Best for her well being. And I will pray for her everyday and hope that she finds someone who can make her the happiest woman on earth. I know she has this amazing life ahead of her and I hope it all goes fantastically.