I hate BPD because it is NOT an illness, like depression or anxiety. It’s a personality disorder. It is who I am. It isn’t just my brain, it’s my whole body, my personality. I can not change it. I can only manage it. (not undermining anxiety or depression, they are horrible too and my heart goes out to those who have them, hang in there you guys!!!)
The good thing though is that it is supposed to go away or at least get less intense when I get further into years. Mainly because I’d be old and stuff so there is less energy. DBT is really good and it is supposed to help a lot with life and managing this. Maybe I can actually find someone to stick around and can handle me haha.
Anyway, today I was told I may also have Bipolar disorder. I have to see how the higher dosages of meds and my feelings and life goes for the next two weeks. Then my Psychiatrist said we can get the final diagnoses and closure. I would still have to have monthly meeting with him and have to see a therapist and continue with DBT of course.
Meds are ONLY a bandaid, and I want a cure. Well haha that’s impossible, but at least stitches or like a cool scar.